Prescreen interview

youNeedAJob && youKnowMe ? contactMe() : ignore();

What, no arability?

I was once told that all doctors can be described as "affability, availability, ability: choose two."

I am very, very ashamed

I am this guy.


Panel 1: Okay, I only do this if someone actually asks. But I do dream about places that are crosses between two (or more) real places, and I'm equally clumsy at explaining those weird hybrid places.

Panel 2: That's me. Four years of high school French and I have about a dozen words plus cognates in my vocabulary today.

Panel 3: Anyone who's seeing this post has got to know that this is me.

Panel 4: This is 50% true; I do usually cut myself off after one or two, but it's because beer is expensive, not because I get queasy.

Reference: xkcd "Superlative," strip 621 - http://xkcd.com/621/

The best guest-hosting gig ever

Does anyone else want to see Brian Williams guest-host The Daily Show? Not just come on and talk at the end of an episode, but sit in Jon Stewart's chair for an episode or two? I would pay good money to see that. Someone at Universal, get to work.

Eclipse editor tips

Turning on line numbers in Eclipse:
Windows > Preferences > General > Editors > Text Editors > check "line numbers"

Turning on 80-char line in Eclipse:
Windows > Preferences > General > Editors > Text Editors > check "show print margin" and set length to 80 characters

Whoa... I have actual readers.

Hey guys. I return to the blog with this tidbit:

Druid doesn't generate table creation SQL that's 100% compatible with MySQL 5.1. Issues I've noticed so far:

• Druid allows columns to be defined as simply "tinytext"; MySQL 5.1 requires "tinytext(4)" or the like.
• Druid uses the wrong order of reserved words; "unsigned" must come before "auto_increment."
• Druid formats foreign key constraints fine, but doesn't require the columns to be defined the same way in the primary table as other tables. If the column is originally defined as, say, unsigned, then it must be unsigned in tables where it's the foreign key as well.

That said, Druid is a great tool, especially for making ER diagrams, once you get past the UI learning curve. http://sourceforge.net/projects/druid/

If you're not interested in that sort of noise, then please note that this is post number 1301. I was just a little slow on that one.

A complete collection of first professional degree humor

What do law school students who get As become after graduation?
Law school professors.
What do law school students who get Bs become after graduation?
Judges.
What do law school students who get Cs become after graduation?
Rich.

What do you call someone who graduates last in his med school class?
Doctor.

Another government service

Last week I saw a Maryland flag flying at half-staff on my drive home and thought "someone should really have a web page that explains why the flag is at half-staff at any given time."

Turns out the state Secretary of State has just such a web page:
http://www.sos.state.md.us/Services/Halfstaff.htm

I can't find a similar site for the US flag, except for one private company that charges $10 for the information.

Actual words forthcoming

http://www.upi.com/Top_News/2009/04/09/Lawmaker-defends-Asian-name-comment/UPI-78811239308901/

http://www.angryasianman.com/2009/04/betty-brown-apologizes.html

Free maps!

I just learned that most states' departments of transportation will send out free paper maps on demand.

Maryland: http://www.sha.state.md.us/SHAServices/mapsBrochures/maps/freemaps.asp
Virginia: http://www.virginiadot.org/travel/maporder.asp
Pennsylvania: http://www.dot.state.pa.us/Internet/Bureaus/pdBOS.nsf/OfficeServicesHomePage?OpenFrameSet&Frame=main&src=infoCustServForm?OpenForm
DC: No paper maps, but plenty of stuff online at http://ddot.dc.gov/ddot/cwp/view,a,1250,q,559674,ddotNav_GID,1586,ddotNav,|32399|.asp

Extra bonus points to the District of Columbia Department of Transportation for its logo:

HDTVs are great

Code on the extended desktop, Villanova-UNC on TV, picture-and-picture. Most excellent.

Just having a 46" 1920x1080 monitor isn't bad by itself, either.

This occurred to me when I saw a Jeep earlier

If I ever become a successful supervillain, my fake name will be The Rubicon. Can you imagine the Heroes' Association meetings?

Generic mid-level hero 1: Hey, man. Nice takedown at that First Area Bank heist on Wednesday.
Generic mid-level hero 2: Thanks! Hey, didja hear about The Obfuscated Octogenarian? He went after one of The Rubicon's weapons factories. They say Rube's pretty pissed.
Generic mid-level hero 1: He crossed The Rubicon? Oh, man. He ain't ever comin' back.

EDIT: This reminded me of the Evil Overlord List from back in the day when the Internet was still new and geeky. Turns out it's still around, go have a look. Clearly, the best one is rule 221 (check cellblock B). Number 66 is good too.

Useless trends I've noticed at work

Part of visiting the doctor is getting weighed. It's the part that people like to complain about the most. Out of the people who complain, everyone wants to know how many pounds we subtract for clothes. And there's a lot of "I need to take off my shoes, they weigh [n]."

Mean n: 4#
Median n: 2#
Smallest n: ounces
Largest n: 20#

Also, a lot of people don't understand blood pressure and pulse. Which is understandable. But they ask about it in a weird way: "I have no idea what those numbers mean. Good, bad, or indifferent?" I'd never heard anyone use that expression before I started my current job. Is it from somewhere?

People also like to reply to "How are you?" with variations of "Eh. Crappy. If I was good then I wouldn't be here, am I right?" Really? Not that funny.

More coming later...

An idea for a web app

A searchable list of hole-in-the-wall restaurants. I wonder if holesinthewall.com is registered?

Life does not equal water

Every time a news outlet runs a story about life on another planet, it drags out the old "the search hinges on the discovery of water, which is a necessary ingredient for living things to exist" line. What's the deal with that? Okay, yes, Earth-based life does depend on water, but that doesn't necessarily mean that all life in the universe does. Maybe there's dihydrogen monosulfide out there powering some pseudobacteria in another galaxy.

This actually happened.

At work, we usually measure patients' temperatures with thermometers like this one:



Yesterday, I had to tell someone which end goes in the mouth.

Great moments in political grandstanding

First up on the list of Americans who should be embarassed about their decision-making skills: residents of California's 27th Congressional District.

From CNN, about the travel habits of executives of America's nearly failed car companies: "At Wednesday's hearing, Rep. Brad Sherman, D-California, pressed the private-jet issue, asking the three CEOs to 'raise their hand if they flew here commercial.'

'Let the record show, no hands went up,' Sherman said. 'Second, I'm going to ask you to raise your hand if you are planning to sell your jet in place now and fly back commercial. Let the record show, no hands went up.'"

Californians, I trust you'll remember to fix your mistake in November 2010.

On AIG outrage

What is WRONG with Americans? The entire country is a gigantic angry mob against AIG (there's a note below for the confused), which is wrong on half a dozen levels.

• Bonuses for the people involved were written into their employment contracts years before anything went wrong.
• AIG was required by law to pay out those bonuses in spite of the performance of the people involved.
• Many of the people involved have reportedly already returned the bonus money.
• The current CEO of the company is a federally appointed caretaker who earns $1 per year and was not affiliated with AIG at the time that the shady dealings were going on.
  
• When Congress authorized the disbursement of bailout funds, it specifically wrote a provision into the law that allowed this type of bonus to be paid out.

In spite of all that, the general public and members of Congress are out for the company's blood. Lots of employees have gotten death threats, including the new CEO. A United States Senator has publicly suggested that top AIG executives should commit suicide. But as usual, Congress is at fault. It seems like all they ever do is subpoena people and belittle them on national TV without really giving them a chance to respond.

So. That seem fair to you?

The sheer magnitude of willful ignorance in people is really unbelievable sometimes.

Historical context for people who read this years from now: The entire world is in a recession right now. It's kind of a big deal. The US government bailed out AIG, a big-time conglomerate, with over $150 billion on the grounds that the economic damage from its failure must be prevented at all costs (or, you know, $150bn of costs). AIG has just reported that executives in the division which made unbelievably bad decisions and caused the company's downfall will receive over $160 million in bonuses this year. Aaaaaand cue the angry mob.

Understanding Plomox and Robert Kelso, MD

Every time someone goes to a (major) pharmacy, the drug they get and the prescriber's ZIP code get sent to a big database managed by a large, faceless corporation that has little contact with the general public. The drug companies by summaries of information from that database and sort doctors into three categories based on how hard they want their sales reps to go after those doctors for the next week/month/whatever. The more scripts the doctors in a given ZIP code write for a drug rep's product, the more money the rep makes.

Plot holes

I don't usually notice plot holes much, but the ones in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles are huge! What IS it with FOX and the destruction of shows with great potential?

Also, what's the deal with "plot holes so big you could drive a Mack truck through them"? Why is that supposed to mean big? Maybe 18-wheelers are small compared to your average plot hole.

What a beautiful morning

Normally I don't really like going outside soon after rain, but this morning was absolutely brilliant (the relatively balmy temperature and sunshine probably helped). And, for once, I actually enjoyed the petrichor! That NEVER happens.

Yeah, I did just write this so I could use the word petrichor. It took me the ENTIRE drive to work to remember it.

Memo to everyone

Please be advised that sulfa and sulfur are not the same thing. Your ignorance on this matter is not something to be proud of.

Thank you,
Mgmt.

Three dilemmas

Have you ever...

... had to choose when the easy thing was wrong and the hard thing was right, and you chose the hard one because it was the right thing to do?

... had to choose when the easy thing was right and the hard thing was wrong, and you chose the hard one just to prove it wasn't too hard for you?

... decided to do the right thing even though you did it for the wrong reasons?

Medical fact: creams, lotions, ointments and potions are not the same thing.

Placeholder

I do want to write here. Specifically, about things I've learned at work. And I'll do that, just as soon as I figure out what format I want to use.